How to not die during final exams

So it’s that time of the year again: when schools decide to revolt against the student population and gain revenge for all our insubordination over the past few months.

Someone somewhere is having an evil laugh as he repays us for walking on the well-manicured grass, or missing that 8:00 AM class for like 4 weeks in a row, or even, for messing up that caf table after someone just cleaned it.

 

This is…. Sparta.

Sparta-kick gif

 

Who will survive?

Well, here are some simple tips on how to NOT die during final exams. P.s- these are not 100% foolproof. If you die, don’t sue.

1) Monitor your eating

If you’re like me, you stress eat during final exams. Fruits and veggies? Not the most readily available, so you grab the cheetos and the chips, the chocolate and the candy. These foods calm your nerves while fattening your arteries.

You’ll probably die soon if you keep it up.

You’re welcome.

 

2) Do a relaxing activity.

By this, I do not mean like overdosing on alcohol or drugs. Cuz then you’ll have to go to the hospital and miss your exams (which in hindsight sounds quite OK…. but it’s not! I promise it’s not….), and then you’ll owe the hospital thousands of dollars, have to drop out of school and sell your body, then probably hit on a police officer, go to jail and we all know what happens in jail……………………

 

No internet. *Oh the Horror!*

 

where am i gif

 

But by relaxing, I mean, go play a sport for fun with your friends- a volleyball game or basketball. Perhaps, go for ice-cream at Haagen Dazs… *dribbles,* or, go watch a movie. Take a small break from studying and do something to keep the stress at bay.

 

3) Sleep Well.

This is the season of all-nighters. And because of this, we tend to not catch up on those 8 hours we missed, and then sleepiness kicks in during the exam (Cruel fate!).

I’m sure statistics somewhere show that if you don’t sleep, you die.

So to avoid this, sleep.

It is that simple.

 

4) Load up on excuses

If stress doesn’t kill you, your parents probably will.

angry parents gif

So if you want to outlive the wrath of your parents for those horrific grades you know you’re going to make, better load up on excuses.

Research excuses for this time of year. We all know the grades probably not going to be up to par, and parents are probably GONNA ask you how you did. Now, I’m not advocating lying, as much as I’m advocating outwitting. Everyone has a piece of lawyer in them (This should especially be easy for law students).

 

“Unfortunately mother, my professor bombarded me with information that I didn’t see in my 24 hours of studying for this class. Due to this conundrum, I was unable to attain a valid grade in this drastically unfortunate class”

OR

“Ma! Everyone failed, and you know if everyone failed, it CAN’T be our fault……. ”

evil-laugh- gif

 

SO, remember:

Final exams is about survival of the smartest, but it doesn’t necessarily mean book-smarts. Get with these street-smarts and live long and…… well….. you’re probably not gonna prosper.

beggar gif

Especially since you’re on the internet now instead of studying!

That is all.

Hope you enjoyed this post. Like and share or drop a comment below!

All the best!

You don’t know Awkward until you’ve seen this.

Ever been in a situation where you wanted to hide or blast yourself into oblivion?

I’m a really awkward person, I know, it’s just in my DNA, but let’s face it, everyone has been in a semi-awkward or Very awkward situation that made them want to do this:

hiding gif

 

So what is awkward really (for people who have no shame, and even for those who are like me)?

Awkward is….

1) When a high five goes wrong.

Have you ever walked by someone you kinda know, and he raises his hand for a high five, and after debating with yourself whether you should or not, you decide to just be nice?

You put up your hand for the high five, halfway smiling…

 

awkward high 5 gif

 

When someone comes from behind you and high-fives the guy?

 

2) Falling.

Now, falling in a public place….

embarrassing.

Falling in front of a crush in a cute new dress you just bought that hiked up and showed your bum?

Disappear into misery.

Especially when they stare at you pitifully to make sure you’re OK.

 

woman falling gif

That’s right, you did that on purpose! Cuz you meant to sprain your ankle.

3) Conversations with people you hardly know.

My more social friends encouraged me to go speak to this woman. I told them I was awkward, but did they listen? Nooooo.

 

SO I  boldly went up to her.,.. and this is what happened:

Me: Hey, how are you??

Woman: Good! How you doing?

Me: Good, good!

*Awkward silence where we looked at each other and smiled politely while slightly nodding our heads*

Until I just backed away slowly into darkness.

Lurking gif

 

Awkward Much?

 

4) Going against the grain

Truth is people, if everyone else is experiencing something bad and you’re experiencing something good, just don’t bring it up. Although sometimes your hand is forced.

So there’s a huge group of women standing on the street in front of the U.S embassy office, all complaining about not receiving their Visas, thus rendering them unable to travel to the U.S.

Here am I 5 feet away, with a Student Visa that I just received.

Conversation is becoming heated “yea, I didn’t get my Visa!” “Me either! They doh like me!” “Girl, I’ve been trying for years,” “I feel they not giving anybody today, nobody I know get it!”

I stood as still as possible, but just wasn’t invisible enough, because the hawks turned to me… “You get your visa?”

I fidgeted. “Yea,” I squeaked.

AWKWARD.

(Needless to say I received some dirty looks)

dirty looks gif

 

5) Wrong confession

Not sure why this is such a fad, but people like to confide ambiguous secrets to their friends.

“Hey… so I like this person and I’m not sure if I should tell her if  I like her. What do you think?”

Well at this point, some hearts bundle up with unspeakable joy, and perhaps they get ahead of themselves a bit too quickly. So they respond:

“Really?! You don’t have to pretend anymore……. I like you too. I’ve always liked you!”

And awkwardness ensued…

Now, the first confessor has to set things straight…

” oh…. well unfortunately I don’t feel the same… I like Shanquaisha-leandraishay, not you.

 

embarrassing gif

 

#youawkwardornah?

or for my trinis:

#yuhawksowah?

Comment below and tell me the most awkward situation you’ve been in!

Like and Share if you enjoyed! 🙂

 

Male Perceptions of Women: How to deal.

So you just shaved cousin IT off of your legs….

What next?

In this post, we’re gonna delve a little into male perceptions about women.

Women are expected to look, smell and be good. Well sometimes, we just like to not bathe and put our smelly feet up on the table. And why not?!

So here are some tips on how to deal with male’s  perceptions on women.

1) Reason with them

I know what you’re thinking: “we can’t reason with each other! Because  men and women are like fire and ice.”

That’s not necessarily true. It is always said that men are all about logic, well, meet them there.

“Oh hey baby, are you gonna shave that forest under your arms”

“What are you tryna say, boo? You don’t like underarm hair? What, you don’t like puberty?  Oh, oh, so you a paedophile or nuh?”

Logic’d.

hairy woman2

2) Strike a deal

So this random guy tells you that he hates when women pull down their skirts or dresses. Don’t even deny it, you either said it or know someone who did.

Well say “sure, I will never pull down my skirt again, but you know what? I hate when guys grab themselves in public. You stop and I will”

Not so easy now is it guys?

You need to know the guy for this one, girls. You need to know what manly habit he does in public, so you can actively strike a deal that will either be too hard for him to live up to, and then everyone could go back to their happy pathetic, but free lives,  or you can benefit from the deal.

Know what I mean? 😉

3) Be an “Angry Feminist” Or whatever

Enter into this long spiel about women’s rights and other important issues. Tell him about the importance of women in society and the unfair partisan society we have to live in where we are rigidly judged and expected to live up to media’s definition of what women should be.

Then tell him about his mother. See if he likes that!

4) Ignore till it hurts

This is by far the best way to deal with biased male perceptions. So that guy going on about the fact that Eve was a curse to humanity because she was a woman. Yeah, you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.

Walk Away.

“Bu-but wait, aren’t you gonna give me your number? I did help you out 3 weeks ago.”

Boy, bye!

Now, I wouldn’t be very fair if I didn’t list the positive things guys do, would I?

Well, have a great day!

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