Tag Archives: College

How to Tell if You’re Ratchet

There are two simple steps to becoming ratchet:

1) Turn off your ability to be ashamed

2) Watch more reality TV

In any order.

These days, the word “ratchet” is being thrown about quite often, and some people are confused… What is this ratchet, they think to themselves, and is they contagious?

The truth about the matter is no one really thinks they are ratchet. They see other people and are positive they have identified the personification of ratchet, but refuse to see themselves as a part of the team.

So how do you go about identifying ratchet people or ensuring that you stay out of that subset of people?

Maybe you thought only black people were ratchet?

nope

1) First, realize that ratchet-ness transcends skin color. People can be white and ratchet, yellow (shout out to my ratchet Asian friend), team lightandbrightskinned or team nubianqueen and ratchet.

2) Look at their/ your hash tags or names on social media. This includes twitter names, IG names and facebook pseudonyms.

All of these are probably ratchet:

Most or All members of #twerkteam

Gazabarbie Willtakeyourman” on FB

ANYONE who drops that dun tha dun.

Miley Cyrus.

But don’t take my word for it…

ratchet name good

blog ratchet

blog ratchet girl

really ratch

3) In many places, 1 in 5 people are probably ratchet, but there are the few places where 5 in 5 people are ratchet. If you are in one of these places where there’s ratchet everywhere, and your grandma is ratchet too, you might wanna move.

4) Remember that everyone’s definition of ratchet is is different.

To some, ratchet is:

ratchet hair

To others. it consists of:

ratchet fighting

Or

ratchet bieber

Find out what your definition is, the definitions of the people around you, and urban dictionary’s definitions, and avoid them at all costs.

Perhaps everyone has the ability to get a little ratchet at times. But, as long as you don’t act like you’re on reality TV  you can be sure you are at the bottom of the ratchet spectrum.

*You’re welcome*

she ratchet

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Summer School Blues

Welcome to Summer School…..

Probably the closest thing to hell you’ll experience this year.

 

So you failed a class and are now being forced to go to summer school. Yeah, you, with that pitiful look in your eyes as you drag your sandal-covered feet around in 95 degree (F) weather.

I feel bad for you son.

Everyone’s all like:

summer time gif

 

And you’re here like…

britney spears gif

 

Well, perhaps it didn’t happen that way. Maybe you needed to bring up your grades or need to take extra classes to put you at the status you want to be at in school.

So is there anyway to retain your dignity and cool-ness during this hot summer? Yes, yes there is.

Here’s how to Survive the Summer.

 

1) Don’t give up hope.

Leaving your dorm every day can be annoying, especially leaving the ultra-cool temperature of the inside and stepping out into the clear, wavering steam rising from the ground. Don’t turn and go back inside…. Don’t lay down and wait for death either…. it will be OK. Just get to class, and chances are, there’ll be AC there! No need to worry until the next time you need to step outside. In like…. 2 hours.

Repeat happy thoughts 5 times a day, and it’ll help you be strong.

come at me Got gif

2) “Put away all sharp objects”

This is the first piece of advice my friend gave me when he heard that I was spending summer at school.

Truth is…. I’ve only been here three days and I already want to kill myself. The loneliness of being in school when your friends aren’t here, and the growing despair of knowing that including summer school, you’ll spend like 10 months out of 12 in school, is gag-worthy.

But hold it in! Cuz, once you clear your room of knives, scissors and sharp paper, there’ll be no temptation to end it. Stay strong, love. You’ll survive.

I will survive gif

3) Make a friend.

That weird guy you used to see lurking around during the Spring semester may just be your new bestie! Or bff…. forevs.

That’s how summer school works. You might meet the most unlikely of friends because of necessity. Cheer up, the friendship may only last 6-8 weeks. It’s not THAT bad….. Unless it is.

The main thing to remember is that your standard of what you look for in friends will undoubtedly drastically decrease this summer…. In fact, you may have no standards at all. I don’t advise this, so I’ve made a little list of what you should look for, accept and stay away from when making friends this summer.

Summer friend flowchart

Unfortunately, issues such as if the person has a B.O doesn’t matter during times of desperation. Throw some scented hand sanitizer at them and call it a day.

Tell me how you are surviving summer school in the comments below!

 

How to not die during final exams

So it’s that time of the year again: when schools decide to revolt against the student population and gain revenge for all our insubordination over the past few months.

Someone somewhere is having an evil laugh as he repays us for walking on the well-manicured grass, or missing that 8:00 AM class for like 4 weeks in a row, or even, for messing up that caf table after someone just cleaned it.

 

This is…. Sparta.

Sparta-kick gif

 

Who will survive?

Well, here are some simple tips on how to NOT die during final exams. P.s- these are not 100% foolproof. If you die, don’t sue.

1) Monitor your eating

If you’re like me, you stress eat during final exams. Fruits and veggies? Not the most readily available, so you grab the cheetos and the chips, the chocolate and the candy. These foods calm your nerves while fattening your arteries.

You’ll probably die soon if you keep it up.

You’re welcome.

 

2) Do a relaxing activity.

By this, I do not mean like overdosing on alcohol or drugs. Cuz then you’ll have to go to the hospital and miss your exams (which in hindsight sounds quite OK…. but it’s not! I promise it’s not….), and then you’ll owe the hospital thousands of dollars, have to drop out of school and sell your body, then probably hit on a police officer, go to jail and we all know what happens in jail……………………

 

No internet. *Oh the Horror!*

 

where am i gif

 

But by relaxing, I mean, go play a sport for fun with your friends- a volleyball game or basketball. Perhaps, go for ice-cream at Haagen Dazs… *dribbles,* or, go watch a movie. Take a small break from studying and do something to keep the stress at bay.

 

3) Sleep Well.

This is the season of all-nighters. And because of this, we tend to not catch up on those 8 hours we missed, and then sleepiness kicks in during the exam (Cruel fate!).

I’m sure statistics somewhere show that if you don’t sleep, you die.

So to avoid this, sleep.

It is that simple.

 

4) Load up on excuses

If stress doesn’t kill you, your parents probably will.

angry parents gif

So if you want to outlive the wrath of your parents for those horrific grades you know you’re going to make, better load up on excuses.

Research excuses for this time of year. We all know the grades probably not going to be up to par, and parents are probably GONNA ask you how you did. Now, I’m not advocating lying, as much as I’m advocating outwitting. Everyone has a piece of lawyer in them (This should especially be easy for law students).

 

“Unfortunately mother, my professor bombarded me with information that I didn’t see in my 24 hours of studying for this class. Due to this conundrum, I was unable to attain a valid grade in this drastically unfortunate class”

OR

“Ma! Everyone failed, and you know if everyone failed, it CAN’T be our fault……. ”

evil-laugh- gif

 

SO, remember:

Final exams is about survival of the smartest, but it doesn’t necessarily mean book-smarts. Get with these street-smarts and live long and…… well….. you’re probably not gonna prosper.

beggar gif

Especially since you’re on the internet now instead of studying!

That is all.

Hope you enjoyed this post. Like and share or drop a comment below!

All the best!

You don’t know Awkward until you’ve seen this.

Ever been in a situation where you wanted to hide or blast yourself into oblivion?

I’m a really awkward person, I know, it’s just in my DNA, but let’s face it, everyone has been in a semi-awkward or Very awkward situation that made them want to do this:

hiding gif

 

So what is awkward really (for people who have no shame, and even for those who are like me)?

Awkward is….

1) When a high five goes wrong.

Have you ever walked by someone you kinda know, and he raises his hand for a high five, and after debating with yourself whether you should or not, you decide to just be nice?

You put up your hand for the high five, halfway smiling…

 

awkward high 5 gif

 

When someone comes from behind you and high-fives the guy?

 

2) Falling.

Now, falling in a public place….

embarrassing.

Falling in front of a crush in a cute new dress you just bought that hiked up and showed your bum?

Disappear into misery.

Especially when they stare at you pitifully to make sure you’re OK.

 

woman falling gif

That’s right, you did that on purpose! Cuz you meant to sprain your ankle.

3) Conversations with people you hardly know.

My more social friends encouraged me to go speak to this woman. I told them I was awkward, but did they listen? Nooooo.

 

SO I  boldly went up to her.,.. and this is what happened:

Me: Hey, how are you??

Woman: Good! How you doing?

Me: Good, good!

*Awkward silence where we looked at each other and smiled politely while slightly nodding our heads*

Until I just backed away slowly into darkness.

Lurking gif

 

Awkward Much?

 

4) Going against the grain

Truth is people, if everyone else is experiencing something bad and you’re experiencing something good, just don’t bring it up. Although sometimes your hand is forced.

So there’s a huge group of women standing on the street in front of the U.S embassy office, all complaining about not receiving their Visas, thus rendering them unable to travel to the U.S.

Here am I 5 feet away, with a Student Visa that I just received.

Conversation is becoming heated “yea, I didn’t get my Visa!” “Me either! They doh like me!” “Girl, I’ve been trying for years,” “I feel they not giving anybody today, nobody I know get it!”

I stood as still as possible, but just wasn’t invisible enough, because the hawks turned to me… “You get your visa?”

I fidgeted. “Yea,” I squeaked.

AWKWARD.

(Needless to say I received some dirty looks)

dirty looks gif

 

5) Wrong confession

Not sure why this is such a fad, but people like to confide ambiguous secrets to their friends.

“Hey… so I like this person and I’m not sure if I should tell her if  I like her. What do you think?”

Well at this point, some hearts bundle up with unspeakable joy, and perhaps they get ahead of themselves a bit too quickly. So they respond:

“Really?! You don’t have to pretend anymore……. I like you too. I’ve always liked you!”

And awkwardness ensued…

Now, the first confessor has to set things straight…

” oh…. well unfortunately I don’t feel the same… I like Shanquaisha-leandraishay, not you.

 

embarrassing gif

 

#youawkwardornah?

or for my trinis:

#yuhawksowah?

Comment below and tell me the most awkward situation you’ve been in!

Like and Share if you enjoyed! 🙂

 

Student Perceptions: Internationals vs. Americans.

This will revolutionize your way of thinking… Or at least you’ll smile.

 

Being an international student and studying in the U.S, there are obvious cultural differences. Now if you’re like me and someone asks you:

“Do you have to take a boat back to your country?”

You’d render tit for tat holding your heart dramatically and telling them “Oh no sweetie! I take a flight to Miami, a boat from there to Jamaica and them swim on over to my country.”

Of course…. this may be seen as rude. Like it’s not rude to ask internationals if they all live in tree houses. Or perhaps, “guuuuurl, y’all have streets there?”  Or… OR “how come y’all don’t look alike if you’re from the same country?”

 

no baby no gif

Yes…. yes they did.

 

Well chances are, if you were to quip back with some stereotypes of Americans (like the standard of education, or the hella expensive health care….. Yeah, if I broke my sphincter, DO NOT CALL THE AMBULANCE. Seriously), friends may just laugh or tell you shut up, but others may just be like “Why does y’all immigrants hate ‘Mericans?”

Or my personal favorite: “This is America, Speak English!”

English is the only language I know, just… by the way.

Talk about your double standard right? So, here’s some things to remember when dealing with perceptions before battling it out like gladiators.

nerd fight gif

 

1) One idiot does not represent the country’s cross section.

Keep in mind, every country has idiots. My theory is, there’s a special germ out there, it attacks the weak minded.

So before you get your panties in a bunch by someone asking you if your country  still has slaves, and before you push them down a flight of stairs and get deported for battery…

hell no gif

 

Remember it’s just one little old idiot.

 

2) Media is a hell of a thing.

Now now, I feel bad for the Africans at my University because every bad, third world statistic is quoted about that continent. “Oh, oh hey, statistics say that in Africa, 3 out of every 4 children have never tasted food”

not fair gif

And while I’m semi-aware of it’s problems, every country has its own set of problems to deal with. I’m all for charity and volunteering, but seriously, thanks for neglecting to point out any positives of a whole continent.

TV perpetuates this. Movies, advertisements, pictures. What else could the average American think if this is what they were fed?

 

3) Good intentions

Many times, after the initial set of stupid questions (yes, there is such a thing), the same people are actually pretty interested in knowing cultural differences. Chances are, if you gave them some of your country’s food, they would try it, or try some cultural garb in your closet- a dashiki or a sari.

Underneath the lack of knowledge and the perceived idiotic ways, there may actually be a good heart.

If you’re like me, you’d crush it before finding out, BUT, sometimes in finding out, you’d make a really good friend.

cringe gif

 

Or they’ll just think you’re cute because of your sexy accent.

 

mental self 5 gif

 

#youmadbro?

As usual, drop a comment below and let me know your views!