Tag Archives: Fun

Summer School Blues

Welcome to Summer School…..

Probably the closest thing to hell you’ll experience this year.

 

So you failed a class and are now being forced to go to summer school. Yeah, you, with that pitiful look in your eyes as you drag your sandal-covered feet around in 95 degree (F) weather.

I feel bad for you son.

Everyone’s all like:

summer time gif

 

And you’re here like…

britney spears gif

 

Well, perhaps it didn’t happen that way. Maybe you needed to bring up your grades or need to take extra classes to put you at the status you want to be at in school.

So is there anyway to retain your dignity and cool-ness during this hot summer? Yes, yes there is.

Here’s how to Survive the Summer.

 

1) Don’t give up hope.

Leaving your dorm every day can be annoying, especially leaving the ultra-cool temperature of the inside and stepping out into the clear, wavering steam rising from the ground. Don’t turn and go back inside…. Don’t lay down and wait for death either…. it will be OK. Just get to class, and chances are, there’ll be AC there! No need to worry until the next time you need to step outside. In like…. 2 hours.

Repeat happy thoughts 5 times a day, and it’ll help you be strong.

come at me Got gif

2) “Put away all sharp objects”

This is the first piece of advice my friend gave me when he heard that I was spending summer at school.

Truth is…. I’ve only been here three days and I already want to kill myself. The loneliness of being in school when your friends aren’t here, and the growing despair of knowing that including summer school, you’ll spend like 10 months out of 12 in school, is gag-worthy.

But hold it in! Cuz, once you clear your room of knives, scissors and sharp paper, there’ll be no temptation to end it. Stay strong, love. You’ll survive.

I will survive gif

3) Make a friend.

That weird guy you used to see lurking around during the Spring semester may just be your new bestie! Or bff…. forevs.

That’s how summer school works. You might meet the most unlikely of friends because of necessity. Cheer up, the friendship may only last 6-8 weeks. It’s not THAT bad….. Unless it is.

The main thing to remember is that your standard of what you look for in friends will undoubtedly drastically decrease this summer…. In fact, you may have no standards at all. I don’t advise this, so I’ve made a little list of what you should look for, accept and stay away from when making friends this summer.

Summer friend flowchart

Unfortunately, issues such as if the person has a B.O doesn’t matter during times of desperation. Throw some scented hand sanitizer at them and call it a day.

Tell me how you are surviving summer school in the comments below!

 

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The art of Properly Dissing Someone: Do you know how to do it?

Face it, we all get into verbal world wars, and have to stake our intellectual and personal claim. In other words, at times, people “be trippin'” and you gotta tell it like it is.

And since I tell it like it is, I’m gonna list some ways you can defeat a colleague in a verbal argument.

How To Diss.

 

1)Speak above Their Intellectual Level

This is the best way to diss someone because essentially, when it comes down to the nitty gritty of the matter, what you’re really saying is “You stoopid.”

Examples:

Hello Kind Sir, the philanthropist of your X chromosome is a harlot from the ancient world.

Friend, your fellow colleagues are undoubtedly abnegating you because of your inability to transcend the understanding of fundamental phenomena and be anything but ostentatious about the strata of intellect you actually do not possess.

 

stupid

 

Remember though, that you can’t outwit someone who has a higher mental capacity than you. In other words, if you’re “stupid-er” than the person you are trying to diss, just skip to the next step.

 

2) Get Loud

Embarrassment is real. Regardless of who is right in the situation, or who is winning, the louder person gets all the “ooooooooo’s.”So, the person who just spoke about your weight being equivalent to a mammoth will be defeated if you just raise your voice and say “Yea, well, you’re ugly!!”

This isn’t nice, but of course, when are battles ever?

 bazinga gif

 

3) Yo Momma

This is by far, the most popular form of disses known. My theory is, everyone already knows the basic “yo momma so fat” jokes.

The trick to making a successful yo momma joke is to repeat your rival’s diss, but just add yo momma to the front of it:

Example:

“You’re stupid”

“Yo momma is stupid”

10 points for Griffindor!

yo momma2

If your rival’s diss is a “yo momma” joke, then well, you’re on your own.

4) Get ratchet.

If all else fails, and sometimes it does, you can just get rachet. Being rachet entails using all the black American vernacular you know and spewing them out. It’s like being ghetto, but not so racist sounding.

“I’m TOO grown for you basic h*es. ”

“Guuuuurllll, you ain’t real!”

“Uh uh, play. with. me.”

“Fix yo tracks before stepping to me”

These are all acceptable disses, however this tip is like the first: you cannot use these disses on someone who is better at it than you. Chances are if she’s wearing huge gold and purple earrings, with fake eyelashes and she looks threatening, she’s probably better at being rachet than you.

 

rachet gif

Hence, Don’t use the rachet path with her!

 

P.S, I do not advocate fighting. Walking away is a perfectly fine way to deal with these situations. Ensure that you know what you’re getting into.

#youmadbro

Leave a comment telling me how you deal with being dissed and tactics you use.

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How to shut a guy down/ Avoiding Small Talk

So, one of my friends gave me this idea surprisingly, since he never has good ideas. So here it is….

Avoiding small talk.

For those in the dark, “small talk” can be defined as useless or unwanted conversation.

So to that guy who came up to me in the caf and said “So, you’re gonna give me your Superman T-shirt? Cuz I want it,”  PISS. OFF.

You know who you are.

From my experience, and I’ve have a lot of good experience in avoiding unnecessary conversation, here are 4 tips to avoid the blabber-er.

Flirting Gif

1) HEADPHONES.

I cannot stress this enough. Headphones not only expels outside noise, but it keeps the lurkers in check. And if a straggler ever tries to step to you while you have headphones on, like my Superman creeper, just point to your ears and keep it moving.

Headphones GIF

2) The Beastface.

This is also known as The Not Interested face. This is when you wipe all semblance of friendliness from your face, leaving only a “I wish a n**** would” look in its stead. Now, be aware ladies, that this only works sometimes. Sometimes there are the rare men who like this look and will keep bothering you.

mean face Gif

3)The Unarguable Excuse.

First, know that once you start a conversation with the small talk-ers, it’s extremely hard to shake them off. Some viable excuses, however unbelievable, are:

“I have a boyfriend”

“Hold a minute, let me make my Std appointment,”

“My girlfriend is right over there and she won’t be happy,”

or just the simple, but effective:    “I’m a man.”

Get creative ladies!

I'm a Man Gif

4) The Walk-Away.

This is by far the rudest one. Which is also the funniest. So that guy is approaching you or may have already approached you, and he is trying to talk to you.

Simply walk away from him. Now, there are 2 ways to do this. Either the known walk away, or the unknown. This simply means you can either pretend you did not notice him trying to talk to you, or you can make your intentions blatantly clear.

 walking away gif

 

Danger: Please ensure that you don’t trip and fall to the ground as you walk away. No matter how creepy the guy may have been, you’ll end up looking worse.

 

Falling gif

How do YOU avoid Small Talk? Comment and tell me!

#thetruthhurts