Tag Archives: rachet

The art of Properly Dissing Someone: Do you know how to do it?

Face it, we all get into verbal world wars, and have to stake our intellectual and personal claim. In other words, at times, people “be trippin'” and you gotta tell it like it is.

And since I tell it like it is, I’m gonna list some ways you can defeat a colleague in a verbal argument.

How To Diss.

 

1)Speak above Their Intellectual Level

This is the best way to diss someone because essentially, when it comes down to the nitty gritty of the matter, what you’re really saying is “You stoopid.”

Examples:

Hello Kind Sir, the philanthropist of your X chromosome is a harlot from the ancient world.

Friend, your fellow colleagues are undoubtedly abnegating you because of your inability to transcend the understanding of fundamental phenomena and be anything but ostentatious about the strata of intellect you actually do not possess.

 

stupid

 

Remember though, that you can’t outwit someone who has a higher mental capacity than you. In other words, if you’re “stupid-er” than the person you are trying to diss, just skip to the next step.

 

2) Get Loud

Embarrassment is real. Regardless of who is right in the situation, or who is winning, the louder person gets all the “ooooooooo’s.”So, the person who just spoke about your weight being equivalent to a mammoth will be defeated if you just raise your voice and say “Yea, well, you’re ugly!!”

This isn’t nice, but of course, when are battles ever?

 bazinga gif

 

3) Yo Momma

This is by far, the most popular form of disses known. My theory is, everyone already knows the basic “yo momma so fat” jokes.

The trick to making a successful yo momma joke is to repeat your rival’s diss, but just add yo momma to the front of it:

Example:

“You’re stupid”

“Yo momma is stupid”

10 points for Griffindor!

yo momma2

If your rival’s diss is a “yo momma” joke, then well, you’re on your own.

4) Get ratchet.

If all else fails, and sometimes it does, you can just get rachet. Being rachet entails using all the black American vernacular you know and spewing them out. It’s like being ghetto, but not so racist sounding.

“I’m TOO grown for you basic h*es. ”

“Guuuuurllll, you ain’t real!”

“Uh uh, play. with. me.”

“Fix yo tracks before stepping to me”

These are all acceptable disses, however this tip is like the first: you cannot use these disses on someone who is better at it than you. Chances are if she’s wearing huge gold and purple earrings, with fake eyelashes and she looks threatening, she’s probably better at being rachet than you.

 

rachet gif

Hence, Don’t use the rachet path with her!

 

P.S, I do not advocate fighting. Walking away is a perfectly fine way to deal with these situations. Ensure that you know what you’re getting into.

#youmadbro

Leave a comment telling me how you deal with being dissed and tactics you use.

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