Tag Archives: Student

How to not die during final exams

So it’s that time of the year again: when schools decide to revolt against the student population and gain revenge for all our insubordination over the past few months.

Someone somewhere is having an evil laugh as he repays us for walking on the well-manicured grass, or missing that 8:00 AM class for like 4 weeks in a row, or even, for messing up that caf table after someone just cleaned it.

 

This is…. Sparta.

Sparta-kick gif

 

Who will survive?

Well, here are some simple tips on how to NOT die during final exams. P.s- these are not 100% foolproof. If you die, don’t sue.

1) Monitor your eating

If you’re like me, you stress eat during final exams. Fruits and veggies? Not the most readily available, so you grab the cheetos and the chips, the chocolate and the candy. These foods calm your nerves while fattening your arteries.

You’ll probably die soon if you keep it up.

You’re welcome.

 

2) Do a relaxing activity.

By this, I do not mean like overdosing on alcohol or drugs. Cuz then you’ll have to go to the hospital and miss your exams (which in hindsight sounds quite OK…. but it’s not! I promise it’s not….), and then you’ll owe the hospital thousands of dollars, have to drop out of school and sell your body, then probably hit on a police officer, go to jail and we all know what happens in jail……………………

 

No internet. *Oh the Horror!*

 

where am i gif

 

But by relaxing, I mean, go play a sport for fun with your friends- a volleyball game or basketball. Perhaps, go for ice-cream at Haagen Dazs… *dribbles,* or, go watch a movie. Take a small break from studying and do something to keep the stress at bay.

 

3) Sleep Well.

This is the season of all-nighters. And because of this, we tend to not catch up on those 8 hours we missed, and then sleepiness kicks in during the exam (Cruel fate!).

I’m sure statistics somewhere show that if you don’t sleep, you die.

So to avoid this, sleep.

It is that simple.

 

4) Load up on excuses

If stress doesn’t kill you, your parents probably will.

angry parents gif

So if you want to outlive the wrath of your parents for those horrific grades you know you’re going to make, better load up on excuses.

Research excuses for this time of year. We all know the grades probably not going to be up to par, and parents are probably GONNA ask you how you did. Now, I’m not advocating lying, as much as I’m advocating outwitting. Everyone has a piece of lawyer in them (This should especially be easy for law students).

 

“Unfortunately mother, my professor bombarded me with information that I didn’t see in my 24 hours of studying for this class. Due to this conundrum, I was unable to attain a valid grade in this drastically unfortunate class”

OR

“Ma! Everyone failed, and you know if everyone failed, it CAN’T be our fault……. ”

evil-laugh- gif

 

SO, remember:

Final exams is about survival of the smartest, but it doesn’t necessarily mean book-smarts. Get with these street-smarts and live long and…… well….. you’re probably not gonna prosper.

beggar gif

Especially since you’re on the internet now instead of studying!

That is all.

Hope you enjoyed this post. Like and share or drop a comment below!

All the best!

You don’t know Awkward until you’ve seen this.

Ever been in a situation where you wanted to hide or blast yourself into oblivion?

I’m a really awkward person, I know, it’s just in my DNA, but let’s face it, everyone has been in a semi-awkward or Very awkward situation that made them want to do this:

hiding gif

 

So what is awkward really (for people who have no shame, and even for those who are like me)?

Awkward is….

1) When a high five goes wrong.

Have you ever walked by someone you kinda know, and he raises his hand for a high five, and after debating with yourself whether you should or not, you decide to just be nice?

You put up your hand for the high five, halfway smiling…

 

awkward high 5 gif

 

When someone comes from behind you and high-fives the guy?

 

2) Falling.

Now, falling in a public place….

embarrassing.

Falling in front of a crush in a cute new dress you just bought that hiked up and showed your bum?

Disappear into misery.

Especially when they stare at you pitifully to make sure you’re OK.

 

woman falling gif

That’s right, you did that on purpose! Cuz you meant to sprain your ankle.

3) Conversations with people you hardly know.

My more social friends encouraged me to go speak to this woman. I told them I was awkward, but did they listen? Nooooo.

 

SO I  boldly went up to her.,.. and this is what happened:

Me: Hey, how are you??

Woman: Good! How you doing?

Me: Good, good!

*Awkward silence where we looked at each other and smiled politely while slightly nodding our heads*

Until I just backed away slowly into darkness.

Lurking gif

 

Awkward Much?

 

4) Going against the grain

Truth is people, if everyone else is experiencing something bad and you’re experiencing something good, just don’t bring it up. Although sometimes your hand is forced.

So there’s a huge group of women standing on the street in front of the U.S embassy office, all complaining about not receiving their Visas, thus rendering them unable to travel to the U.S.

Here am I 5 feet away, with a Student Visa that I just received.

Conversation is becoming heated “yea, I didn’t get my Visa!” “Me either! They doh like me!” “Girl, I’ve been trying for years,” “I feel they not giving anybody today, nobody I know get it!”

I stood as still as possible, but just wasn’t invisible enough, because the hawks turned to me… “You get your visa?”

I fidgeted. “Yea,” I squeaked.

AWKWARD.

(Needless to say I received some dirty looks)

dirty looks gif

 

5) Wrong confession

Not sure why this is such a fad, but people like to confide ambiguous secrets to their friends.

“Hey… so I like this person and I’m not sure if I should tell her if  I like her. What do you think?”

Well at this point, some hearts bundle up with unspeakable joy, and perhaps they get ahead of themselves a bit too quickly. So they respond:

“Really?! You don’t have to pretend anymore……. I like you too. I’ve always liked you!”

And awkwardness ensued…

Now, the first confessor has to set things straight…

” oh…. well unfortunately I don’t feel the same… I like Shanquaisha-leandraishay, not you.

 

embarrassing gif

 

#youawkwardornah?

or for my trinis:

#yuhawksowah?

Comment below and tell me the most awkward situation you’ve been in!

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The art of Properly Dissing Someone: Do you know how to do it?

Face it, we all get into verbal world wars, and have to stake our intellectual and personal claim. In other words, at times, people “be trippin'” and you gotta tell it like it is.

And since I tell it like it is, I’m gonna list some ways you can defeat a colleague in a verbal argument.

How To Diss.

 

1)Speak above Their Intellectual Level

This is the best way to diss someone because essentially, when it comes down to the nitty gritty of the matter, what you’re really saying is “You stoopid.”

Examples:

Hello Kind Sir, the philanthropist of your X chromosome is a harlot from the ancient world.

Friend, your fellow colleagues are undoubtedly abnegating you because of your inability to transcend the understanding of fundamental phenomena and be anything but ostentatious about the strata of intellect you actually do not possess.

 

stupid

 

Remember though, that you can’t outwit someone who has a higher mental capacity than you. In other words, if you’re “stupid-er” than the person you are trying to diss, just skip to the next step.

 

2) Get Loud

Embarrassment is real. Regardless of who is right in the situation, or who is winning, the louder person gets all the “ooooooooo’s.”So, the person who just spoke about your weight being equivalent to a mammoth will be defeated if you just raise your voice and say “Yea, well, you’re ugly!!”

This isn’t nice, but of course, when are battles ever?

 bazinga gif

 

3) Yo Momma

This is by far, the most popular form of disses known. My theory is, everyone already knows the basic “yo momma so fat” jokes.

The trick to making a successful yo momma joke is to repeat your rival’s diss, but just add yo momma to the front of it:

Example:

“You’re stupid”

“Yo momma is stupid”

10 points for Griffindor!

yo momma2

If your rival’s diss is a “yo momma” joke, then well, you’re on your own.

4) Get ratchet.

If all else fails, and sometimes it does, you can just get rachet. Being rachet entails using all the black American vernacular you know and spewing them out. It’s like being ghetto, but not so racist sounding.

“I’m TOO grown for you basic h*es. ”

“Guuuuurllll, you ain’t real!”

“Uh uh, play. with. me.”

“Fix yo tracks before stepping to me”

These are all acceptable disses, however this tip is like the first: you cannot use these disses on someone who is better at it than you. Chances are if she’s wearing huge gold and purple earrings, with fake eyelashes and she looks threatening, she’s probably better at being rachet than you.

 

rachet gif

Hence, Don’t use the rachet path with her!

 

P.S, I do not advocate fighting. Walking away is a perfectly fine way to deal with these situations. Ensure that you know what you’re getting into.

#youmadbro

Leave a comment telling me how you deal with being dissed and tactics you use.

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How To Procrastinate: the guide to success

Ever completed an assignment long before it’s deadline, failed it, but passed the one you did the night before?

 

Be real, we’ve all done it: waited that night before to complete that 5 page complex research paper or poetry analysis.  Yeah… that.

Many people believe they work well under pressure, or at least are willing to admit that they’re too lazy to complete their assignments any time before the night before… when all creative juices flow. It is that precious night before that complex, authentic and poetic gold is created.

saw games

 

I’m just saying, if you’ve never procrastinated, you’ve never lived! The pure adrenalin knowing that the passing grade of this class depends on your success in the next few hours is equivalent to being the star character in a horror movie…. both end with you turning into a zombie ghost.

ghost gif

 

So, from my years of procrastination experience, here is some invaluable advice on how to successfully procrastinate and maintain that high level of work you do, you old chap.

First, Take a Nap. 

This is the most important step. You need to be well rested before completing any daunting body of work, I mean, in biology and health classes, the importance of rest is stressed right? So, really, by napping, you’re just looking out for your own physical and mental health. Don’t ask questions, just… just sleep.

You’re Welcome.

 

2) Know Your Skills:

Many people would say “well, he did it, so surely I can do it do right?”

Nah brahhhh.

Morpheus gif

 

Know what you’re good at. If writing is your thing, then procrastination on papers will work for you. If maths is yours, then that algebra homework due? Heh, that can be done during class babe. Don’t ever step out of your skills and try to do something you’re not good at last minute. You’re already tethering on failure. Don’t tip the boat.

Mario fail gif

3) Know your Body

I mean, you already took a nap right, so why do you need to know your body?

There’s a little word we (Trinidadians) like to call dropsy. It doesn’t matter when you take a nap, as long as you’re not a night person, chances are, you’ll fall asleep before all the fun, procrastination stuff starts happening… like midnight peanut butter binges, or mid morning song and dance sessions.

dance session gif

 

You may just be  a morning person, where you can wake up really early and concentrate better. If this is so, go strong sister!

Keep in mind, if you’re like me, the best ideas taunt you late at night. So knowing your body means knowing your brain also.

So what did we learn today?

Doing work on time…

ain't nobody got time for that

 

What other tips do you have on Procrastination? Share some in the comments below.

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#Thetruthis

Student Perceptions: Internationals vs. Americans.

This will revolutionize your way of thinking… Or at least you’ll smile.

 

Being an international student and studying in the U.S, there are obvious cultural differences. Now if you’re like me and someone asks you:

“Do you have to take a boat back to your country?”

You’d render tit for tat holding your heart dramatically and telling them “Oh no sweetie! I take a flight to Miami, a boat from there to Jamaica and them swim on over to my country.”

Of course…. this may be seen as rude. Like it’s not rude to ask internationals if they all live in tree houses. Or perhaps, “guuuuurl, y’all have streets there?”  Or… OR “how come y’all don’t look alike if you’re from the same country?”

 

no baby no gif

Yes…. yes they did.

 

Well chances are, if you were to quip back with some stereotypes of Americans (like the standard of education, or the hella expensive health care….. Yeah, if I broke my sphincter, DO NOT CALL THE AMBULANCE. Seriously), friends may just laugh or tell you shut up, but others may just be like “Why does y’all immigrants hate ‘Mericans?”

Or my personal favorite: “This is America, Speak English!”

English is the only language I know, just… by the way.

Talk about your double standard right? So, here’s some things to remember when dealing with perceptions before battling it out like gladiators.

nerd fight gif

 

1) One idiot does not represent the country’s cross section.

Keep in mind, every country has idiots. My theory is, there’s a special germ out there, it attacks the weak minded.

So before you get your panties in a bunch by someone asking you if your country  still has slaves, and before you push them down a flight of stairs and get deported for battery…

hell no gif

 

Remember it’s just one little old idiot.

 

2) Media is a hell of a thing.

Now now, I feel bad for the Africans at my University because every bad, third world statistic is quoted about that continent. “Oh, oh hey, statistics say that in Africa, 3 out of every 4 children have never tasted food”

not fair gif

And while I’m semi-aware of it’s problems, every country has its own set of problems to deal with. I’m all for charity and volunteering, but seriously, thanks for neglecting to point out any positives of a whole continent.

TV perpetuates this. Movies, advertisements, pictures. What else could the average American think if this is what they were fed?

 

3) Good intentions

Many times, after the initial set of stupid questions (yes, there is such a thing), the same people are actually pretty interested in knowing cultural differences. Chances are, if you gave them some of your country’s food, they would try it, or try some cultural garb in your closet- a dashiki or a sari.

Underneath the lack of knowledge and the perceived idiotic ways, there may actually be a good heart.

If you’re like me, you’d crush it before finding out, BUT, sometimes in finding out, you’d make a really good friend.

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Or they’ll just think you’re cute because of your sexy accent.

 

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#youmadbro?

As usual, drop a comment below and let me know your views!